


Space Carnival

by Fauxtalian, Jathis, MoonwalkingCrab, rudbeckia, valda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cannibalism Mistakenly Implied, Carnival, Crack, First Time, Force Lube, M/M, Phasma Ships It, Public Sex, Wait Shit There Are Feelings, Work Day Out, everyone knows but them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7848145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fauxtalian/pseuds/Fauxtalian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jathis/pseuds/Jathis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonwalkingCrab/pseuds/MoonwalkingCrab, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/valda/pseuds/valda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to Hux's distaste his crew is overdue leave and everyone seems insistent on getting him to the Space Carnival. What fun could he possibly have there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Complete crack collaboration between some wonderful people.

Hux glared at the lettering on Mitaka’s datapad and groaned. “Is this a joke, Lieutenant?”

Mitaka’s bemused frown made Hux’s heart sink. “No, sir, several key crewmembers are overdue leave, and the regulations clearly state that--”

“Fine,” Hux shook his head. “You can go to the kriffing _Space Carnival_ if you want. One standard day off. Understood?”

It was, as always, satisfying to watch Mitaka scurry away, but not as satisfying as it could have been. The idea of his people cavorting at what appeared to be a rough collection of the galaxy’s most odious individuals turned Hux’s stomach.

So intent was he on his distaste that he nearly leapt out of his skin at the sudden rasp at his shoulder.

“General Hux,” Ren said in that deep, vocoded rattle of his.

“Ren,” of course, it wasn’t a bad day until he showed up, “do you have something to add?”

There was a hiss of hydraulics as the helmet was unclipped, giving Hux a look at that frustratingly pretty, pouting face.

“I want to go to the carnival.”

Hux stared for a few seconds, mouth hanging open until he realised and shut it with a click of teeth. “You _what_?”

“I want to go to the carnival. I want to practise use of the Force in, um, in a difficult environment. It is to hone my skills. Help me learn to, um, shut out distractions.” Ren huffed slightly. “I don’t need your permission, I am merely telling you of my intention.”

Hux froze at what Ren said next. He pretended not to hear but Ren repeated himself, stepping closer, “ _I think you should go too._ ”

Hux waved a dismissive hand in the air, refusing to look at Ren now. “And why should I go to a place of loud noises and other frivolities?” he asked. He perked up when he heard the sound of someone running towards him and he turned, groaning as he saw who it was.

“Is it true!? Is it true that some of the crew are going to the carnival?!” Techie asked, clapping his hands together in delight.

“Apparently…”

“Oh! Can I go?! I’ve never been to such a thing before! Father never let us! We should both go!”

Hux was certain he could hear Ren's smug grin. “...Very well…” he huffed. He watched as his brother laughed in excitement, turning to run off again, presumably to tell others about this planned stop at the carnival. “...I will NOT enjoy myself,” he hissed, turning his head to glare at Ren.

“As you say.”

~

The carnival was held on a miserable backwater planet that no one in their right mind would ever visit intentionally. Except that unfortunately Hux was visiting it intentionally right now.

Perhaps he, like all his soldiers, had gone mad.

He sat in the shuttle, arms crossed, staring imperiously down his nose. This was a waste of his time and it would not be enjoyable in the slightest.

Ren had left the helmet on the _Finalizer_. He’d also left behind his usual robes. He looked...strange, Hux decided, wearing a loose beige shirt with wide neck and olive-colored pants covered in pockets. He looked like a vagrant, or a smuggler, or perhaps an undercover assassin. He’d fit in just fine with the reprobates at this ridiculous affair.

Hux had also dressed for the occasion, unfortunately. The First Order didn’t provide much in the way of casual clothes, after all, if they weren’t working then they weren’t serving the Order and that would be a waste of time and resources. The budget stretched as far as a long sleeved black shirt and trousers of a stiff grey fabric, perfectly functional, and a tad more flattering than his usual breeches. If Hux did say so himself.

The lights of the carnival were visible through the transparisteel of the shuttle, a glowing cacophony of colours that no doubt were accompanied by a variety of bangs and whistles. Ren’s face was lit by a pink glow, eyes bright with childlike excitement. Hux rolled his eyes, _hone your skills my arse, Ren_.

An excited laugh tore Hux from his thoughts. He glanced over and saw his little brother looking down at the carnival below. His eyes whirled and clicked softly as he took in the sights and colors, the pupils growing and shrinking as time passed. Hux watched as Techie turned to look at Mitaka, flashing him a bright smile.

He narrowed his eyes a little at the look the two shared between each other. 

Mitaka was a good officer. That was not in question. Hux liked Mitaka fine, when he was at his duties.

Hux did _not_ like Mitaka fine when he was looking at his brother like _that_.

As a Hux, Techie was destined for greatness. Hux had tried to explain this many times, but his brother never seemed to truly comprehend it. His fraternization with a mere lieutenant was not something their father would have cared for.

Though perhaps that explained it.

Hux held back a sigh and looked away.

It seemed inevitable that he would have to be the voice of authority today, someone had to be. He shuddered at the impression people would have of the First Order if he let them run around like children.

Ren’s nose was still pressed up against the viewport as they landed, his eyes wide and sparkling, almost as bright as the lights of the carnival. There was a bump and in the corner of his eye Hux caught sight of Mitaka’s hand steadying his brother. At the very least he could expect those two to conduct themselves with decorum. He stood, smoothing down the unfamiliar clothing.

“Right, where to first?” He let out a surprised gasp as his brother went running past him. He watched as Mitaka ran after him, laughing as he soon caught up and took his hand before continuing to head to the carnival. He narrowed his eyes slightly, growling to himself. “Dopheld…”

“We should try some of the rides first,” Ren suddenly said.

“Hm?”

“Before trying anything to eat. We should try the rides first,” he explained.

“I doubt the rides here are up to safety standards,” Hux muttered.

“General, do you always let your fears stop you from doing anything?”

He bristled at that and shoved past Ren. “Let’s go then!” To himself, he muttered quietly, “Rides.” Ugh.

The carnival was just as he had feared, filled with all sorts of riffraff. Night had fallen on this carbuncle of a planet, the only light sources the rainbow of accent lighting on the various thrill apparatus and the pale flicker of weak white bulbs above food and ticket stalls. Beneath his feet, thankfully clad in sturdy boots meant for ground maneuvers, a mix of dirt and stone was covered in the sort of stickiness that came from raucous fools spilling beverages and emperor-knew-what-else. Hux did not particularly _want_ to know.

Ren had easily caught up to his frustrated stride; Hux glanced over and caught him in profile, a tinge of red highlighting his pale skin, deepening the shadow under the hood of his eyebrow and completely hiding his eye. In this light, he looked dangerous in a way that set off an odd little clench in Hux’s chest, a tightening that seemed to rise up into his throat. He swallowed against it, ineffectually.

“What?” Ren said suddenly, glancing over at him.

“Maybe,” Hux’s words dried and he tried to swallow. “Maybe _that_ ride?”

Ren looked at the multicoloured monstrosity Hux pointed at and laughed with derision. “Are you telling me you want to go on the _birling banthas_? That is so LAME!”

Hux reddened and snapped back at Ren. “Well you go ahead and spoil yourself with the big rides first. _I’d_ rather work up to it. Besides, you don’t have to follow me around.”

“What, and miss the chance to see the great General slumming it down here with the riff raff?” Ren smirked, “Wouldn’t miss it.”

They were ushered onto a disturbingly wide-eyed pink bantha by a sullen looking Togruta. The seat was cramped, their legs squeezed together from thigh to knee. A metal bar descended, pinning them in and Hux felt an elbow in his side. 

Ren’s face was disturbingly close, “After this I want to ride the _Rathtar_ ,” he jerked his head towards the most unstable collection of scrap metal seen outside of Jakku and Hux felt his face drain. The first ride hadn’t even started yet.

“You _would_ want to ride something that looks dangerous and broken!” he huffed, trying to hide his nerves as he stared at the ride. He let out a startled gasp when the birling banthas started and his cheeks and ears turned red in shame as Ren threw his head back and laughed.

“Did that honestly scare you?!”

“Shut up!”

The ride lasted only a few minutes. It was far too long. Hux white-knuckled the bar, willing his heart to stop pounding. You’d think he would adjust after the initial shock, would grow accustomed to the way the hideous bantha spun and wove up and down, but he did not. The ride was hell from start to finish and Hux’s legs wobbled when he finally staggered off.

“Eesh, Hux,” Ren said. “Really?”

“I trust our shuttles,” Hux said, his voice far more reedy than he would’ve liked. “I trust our ground equipment. I trust our TIE fighters. I do _not_ trust ramshackle equipment hastily clapped together by aliens and reprobates.”

A passing Ugnaught made some sort of disgusting noise at Hux’s comment. Hux grabbed Ren’s arm and tugged him away.

“I could...help you?” Ren suggested.

“Help me,” Hux repeated flatly. “How in the name of the Order could you possibly--”

Ren’s face was suddenly close, his hand coming up as if to cradle Hux’s cheek. Hux’s breath caught. “I could,” Ren said, and Hux’s eyes darted down to Ren’s lips, which were overlarge and too red and far plumper than they had any right to be and what were they doing so close to his own anyway, “calm your mind.”

Hux slapped Ren’s hand away and took a step backward, straight into a passing Toydarian, who buzzed angrily and suggested Hux should walk in the direction his eyes pointed. Hux shook his head and held up his arms towards Ren defensively.

“Don’t you DARE! I am PERFECTLY CALM!”

Ren lowered his hand and smiled. “Whatever you say, General. The _Rathtar_ line looks short. Come on, before it gets busy. Unless, of course, you are afraid?”

Hux drew himself up to his full height now that the nausea from the _Birling Banthas_ had abated.

“I am not afraid of a stupid ride.”

“Oh yes?” Ren’s eyebrows were raised, his voice low and soft as he bent down to whisper in Hux’s ear, “ _Prove it._ ”

Hux felt a shiver run up his spine and couldn’t quite discern the cause, the warm breath tickling his ear, or the jarring screech of metal as the _Rathtar’s_ multiple arms rose up to flail in the air. The night sky was filled with screams of mixed terror and excitement, the occupants of the pods attached to the end of each metal limb. Unfortunately Ren was right, the line really was not long at all. He could feel the colour draining from his face as he watched the _Rathtar_ spin ever faster, suddenly glad of the solid presence of Ren at his side.

Not that he would ever admit as much. And he certainly wasn’t leaning unconsciously toward Ren now, enough that their shoulders brushed, and his fingers were not twitching at his side as if seeking to be held.

He stared at the ride and swallowed.

“Next,” wheezed the Mon Calamari running the ride, and Ren was suddenly gone, dancing up the ramp and into a seat. Unlike the loathsome bantha ride, the _Rathtar_ did not bother with enclosed spaces. Each seat was strapped to a center column, facing outward. Hux gazed at the way Ren’s long legs dangled out into open space and held down a shudder.

“Well, come on then,” the Mon Cal grunted, startling Hux into motion. Before he really knew what was happening, he was strapped into the small seat, braces crossing his chest. He groped around, suddenly terrified, as it seemed there were no handholds. Then the last of the merrymakers was tied down to the pod and a bar lowered around all of them. Hux drew in a long breath and glanced over to the side, where Ren was practically vibrating in his seat.

Then the pod was moving, swinging up and out, and Hux’s feet were flying over nothing, there was nothing around him but air, and it was going faster, and faster, and faster--

\--and upside down and…. Hux couldn’t bear it. He screwed his eyes tight shut and prayed that the mysterious _Force_ that Ren put so much faith in would keep the ride from collapsing and dropping Ren, and therefore himself too, in a pile of twisted metal. After what felt like a lifetime, Hux felt the motion slow and stop. He gradually came back into himself to hear Ren’s braying laughter beside him. Hux opened his eyes as someone loosened the straps that held him safely immobile against dropping from the ride and realised with horror that he had unconsciously clutched tight to Ren’s hand. He was still holding Ren's hand.

Hux let go and stood up, swaying slightly. Ren laughed again, softer now, and linked his arm through Hux’s.

“I think we’d better get you something to eat.”

Hux nodded mutely, hopefully food would bring his stomach back to earth from its current position in the air next to the _Rathtar_. He felt as if the warmth of Ren’s arm was the only thing keeping him grounded and upright. Pushing aside the hatred at allowing Ren to see him so weak he pointed towards an area of striped tents, “The refreshment stands are over there I think.”

Ren peered in the direction he was pointing, “So’s Mitaka and your brother.”

Hux pursed his lips, he still wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation, but the medley of rich scents was too good to ignore. He needed something to settle his stomach, and Ren’s reassuring touch could only go so far. “Let’s go then,” he said, pulling on his wrist lightly to lead the way.

Why was _that_ one also there?! His eyes widened at the sight of Mitaka and his brother sitting with a blonde man he recognized from several disciplinary hearings; what was his name? Something plain and dumb. 

Matt. His name was Matt.

Hux’s eye twitched ever so slightly as he watched Matt feeding his brother something that looked absolutely unhealthy by hand, powdered sugar spilling onto his mouth and down the front of his bright yellow shirt. Mitaka dutifully cleaned his mouth with a napkin, the three of them so absorbed in each other that none of them saw Hux and Ren as they walked past.

“They make your brother happy,” Ren murmured as he brought Hux over to one of the food stands.

“A piece of copper wire makes my brother happy,” he sniffed, looking over his shoulder at the three. “I could possibly tolerate Mitaka; he is an important member of the Finalizer’s crew and was top of his classes at the Academy but a radar technician?! Impossible! I..!”

“Eat.” Ren pressed the plate into Hux’s hands.

He blinked as he held onto the plate, looking down at the food. “What is this?”

“Pernil with rice and beans,” Ren explained as he started to eat from his own plate. “With some fried plantains too,” he added.

“...Was this not food served on..?”

“On Alderaan,” he said with a nod.

“Food from a dead world,” Hux muttered as he picked up a piece of the meat between his fingers, wrinkling his nose a little at the lack of utensils. 

“Other worlds have similar dishes and foods,” Ren countered, “does not your world have similarities with others? I thought you said some people confused your accent with one from..?”

Hux pointedly ignored him, biting into the meat. His eyes widened at how moist and soft it was, marveling at how easily the pork was chewed and swallowed. “Oh…” he whispered. Ren just smiled knowingly as Hux continued to eat.

He ate perhaps a little too quickly, judging by the way his already unsettled stomach was taking to the rich food. Hux switched to the plantains, attempting to slow his pace, but he was tired of being here, tired of Ren’s arrogant smirk, tired of knowing his brother was cavorting with men he knew were beneath him.

The food was delicious, at least.

Without a word, Hux stalked away, dropping his plate into a disgusting, overflowing recycler. As he moved off, directionless, he heard Ren jog a few steps to catch up.

“Where’re you going?”

“There,” Hux said, gesturing vaguely ahead.

“There?” Ren replied, and Hux looked at what lay before them. Oh. Well, then.

It was some sort of slow water ride, involving little boats that bobbed and floated into a dim passageway decorated with cool blue lights. The sign above read “Jump to Lovespace.”

Fantastic.

The attendant held the boat still and Ren stepped in, turning to offer Hux a hand. Hux ignored the assistance and staggered slightly as the attendant let go and the boat swayed. Ren caught him and Hux muttered something about momentum as he sat. Ren squeezed into place beside him and the boat moved off. 

The start of the ride was gentle. Hux felt calmed by the rushing sound of the water pushing them into the dim tunnel. He shivered with a slight chill as an air current blew past, then flinched forward.

“Ren, what are you doing?”

“The boat is cramped,” Ren explained. “My shoulder is more comfortable this way and it leaves more room for you too.” 

Hux frowned, but sat back with Ren’s arm around his shoulders. He had to admit to himself, Ren was right. He was more comfortable like this.

The ride, if you could call it that much, was smooth, the water placid as it flowed gently into the little tunnel. Hux felt Ren’s intake of breath as they sailed through. Everything was lit by a shimmering blue light, reflecting off the water, surrounding them with a dappled glow. The feeling in his chest had returned, like the tightening of a spring, winding up to _something_.  
“So,” Hux’s voice was soft, barely audible over the rippling water, “have you had much success with your Force practice tonight?”

Ren’s fingers squeezed tightly on his shoulder and he made an apologetic little noise,”Eh, I’m afraid I’ve been somewhat distracted tonight.”

“I didn’t ask you to babysit me!”

“I didn’t say it was a bad distraction.” Hux felt Ren’s fingers stroke down his chin, his hand cupping Hux’s face, tilting it towards him.

“Oh…”

Maybe it was the calming blue glow around them. Maybe it was the gentle rocking of the boat. Maybe it was the blessed quiet, the only sound the lapping of the water--and, now, the roaring thump of his heartbeat in his ears. Whatever it was, Hux felt his eyes slipping shut, his skin electric under Ren’s ungloved touch.

“Hux,” Ren murmured, and Hux didn’t know what to do with his hands, clenching them into impotent fists in his lap. All of a sudden he realized he wasn’t breathing, and his mouth fell open with a soft gasp. His eyes were still closed, and Ren’s fingertips were still playing along his cheek, palm warm against his jaw, and now he could feel Ren’s breath, hot and sweet against his mouth, and what was he _waiting_ for, and before that thought could even really register Hux was surging forward to meet Ren’s lips.

The boat rocked and a splash of water slopped over the side, soaking Hux’s leg. He barely noticed, lost in the warmth of Ren’s mouth on his, Ren’s lips caressing his own. He was pressed flush against Ren’s broad chest, basking in the warmth that seemed to emanate from every pore. Ren opened his mouth in a low groan and Hux slipped his tongue into that warm welcoming mouth. He could still taste the fragrant spices of Alderaan, appreciating them so much more when mixed with the sweetness of Ren’s tongue. 

Ren gripped tight, almost pulling Hux into his lap as Hux tangled his fingers in the gloriously silky strands of Ren’s hair. Hux felt a large hand moving towards his collarbone and the opening of his shirt and heard a polite cough from beside him.

Startled by sudden light, Ren and Hux sprang apart in time to see the grinning attendant hook their boat and hold it for them to get out safely, and, in the line of revellers waiting to ‘Jump to Lovespace’, Hux saw Captain Phasma and Petty Officer Unamo leering at him. 

“Oh kriff,” Hux breathed to Ren. “I need to get out of here.”

He didn’t think twice before grabbing Ren by the hand, trying to walk in a way that suggested he hadn’t just been devouring his co-commander in front of half the bridge staff thank-you-very-much, he was just in a hurry.

They ended up in front of the _Blast-a-Womp-Rat_ game and Hux noticed the almost feral grin on Ren’s face as he looked at the prizes. Hux’s eyes widened, was that a _Darth Vader throw pillow_?!

“Stars, Ren. You cannot be serious.”

Sure enough, Ren was pulling credits out of one of his cargo pockets, handing them over to the attendant. This man was human, balding, and wore a prosthetic arm that appeared to be fashioned to look like a crab claw.

“It’s ten Womp Rats for the pillow.” The attendant informed in a passive voice, he was already trying to attract the attention of another group of carnival goers. 

“Ren, you could just buy that on the holonet.”

“And where would the fun in that be?” Ren reasoned, lifting his air rifle that was fashioned to look like a vintage blaster. Hux had nothing to say, he was too taken aback by the absurdity that the _leader of The Knights of Ren_ was schooling him about fun.

Ren shouldered the fake blaster with surprising grace, aimed, waited for a womp rat and fired. There was a satisfying POP from the weapon but nothing happened to the womp rat. Ren frowned and shook the blaster. Hux held out his hand for it and Ren grudgingly handed it over. 

“It’s useless,” Hux announced after a brief examination. “It gives sound effects but no pellet.” Ren sniggered and took the air-blaster back. 

“Watch this, then.”

Ten pops later, Ren held out his hand for his prize.

The stallholder growled at Ren and raised his claw. “Did you cheat? Did you bring your own weapon?”

Hux smiled dangerously. “Are you accusing an officer of the First Order of _cheating_? Of course neither of us is armed whilst at a funfair. That would be against regulations. You owe my colleague a Darth Vader pillow.”

“Nobody could have shot womp rats with…” The stallholder stopped before admitting his scam and silently handed over the prize. After Hux and Ren had left, laughing about how much _fun_ that had been, he spoke urgently into a comm unit.

“What about that one?” Hux pointed and grabbed Ren’s arm. “You have to swing the lightsaber and it measures how strong the force is in you.”

“You have got to be kidding me, Hux.” Ren glared but Hux was smiling at him. “Oh, you are. No, I know what we should do next.” 

Hux slipped his hand into Ren’s once more, comfortable with the gesture now. Guiding him in the opposite direction, “Nuh-uh, my turn to choose. This way.”

Ren raised his eyebrows, blinking plaintively. “But... I have an idea! We could go back to the boats, they were fun.” Hux could feel the tips of his ears reddening, and gave Ren a small smile.

“You’re right, that was fun. But I have an even better idea.” He pulled Ren towards the centrepiece of the fair, a giant wheel, studded with lights, each little compartment with its own lantern glowing as it rose into the air. There was a small line and Hux pulled Ren towards it. “When we stop at the top then we’ll have an excellent view of the whole fair, and you can decide which terrible attraction we’re going to next.”

He felt Ren’s arm slip around his waist, the deliciously deep voice rumbling in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. “Exactly how long does it stop for?”

Hux turned to give Ren a long look. “I’ve told you not to read my mind,” he said. He let Ren flounder for a moment before letting himself grin.

“I’m not sure what’s gotten into you,” Ren said, leaning his forehead against Hux’s, “but I like it.”

Hux let out a short laugh. “You put something in that Alderaanian food, didn’t you.” Ren effected a wounded look and Hux laughed again. “At any rate. To answer your question, Ren, it looks to me like the wheel stops _just long enough._ ”

Ren’s face went pleasantly pink. “Long enough for what?” he said, his voice breaking a bit.

Hux only smiled. “You’ll see.”

The line for the wheel was short, only two turns passed before they were seated in their metal carriage. Hux waited until the ride did a rotation to load more passengers before crossing the compartment and sharing Ren’s cramped seat. 

Their compartment rose higher and higher, slowly creaking its way to the top while Hux held on for dear life. Ren laughed and shook the little carriage. Hux grabbed Ren’s hands and held tight. “Stop that!” Hux had his eyes closed again, ”unless you want to see that Alderaanian food again.”

That worked. Ren sat calmly with his arm around Hux’s shoulder until the ride halted. “Come on, you’ll miss the view.”

Hux opened his eyes. Ren had extinguished the little lamp in their carriage. Without its dim glow Hux could see out over the fairground and beyond. Hux sighed.

“So,” Ren admitted, “the view out there is a bit shit. But I like what I can see in here.”

“Oh?” Hux asked, raising an eyebrow to look at him.

He smiled as he leaned forward, his lips brushing against Hux’s. “Yeah,” he hummed before kissing him, pressing close against him in the small carriage. He smiled to himself when he felt Hux place a hand on his cheek, deepening the kiss as he pulled him closer. “Hux…”

“What shall we do now, Ren? Surely you can think of something.”

“Well _you’re_ the one who dragged us onto this. I thought you had a plan, obviously it wasn’t the-” Ren hissed in a breath as Hux’s lips descended on his neck, biting and sucking at the pulse point of his throat. His tongue was warm and wet, curving its way up towards the shell of his ear, sending shivers down Ren’s spine, a low heat starting to burn in his belly.

“Hux-” he gripped tight at narrow shoulders, stroking downwards to spread his hands across the small of Hux’s back. Hux’s own hands were pressed to his chest, slim fingers trailing towards the hem of his shirt.

“Not now Ren, can’t you see I’m busy?” Hux smiled wickedly, licking his lips before diving in for another taste of Ren’s mouth. With one hand he fiddled with the fastening of Ren’s trousers, the other rubbing circles on the delicious hardness of his abs. Ren leaned his head back against the wall of their compartment, once more giving Hux access to the expanse of his neck. He lapped at each exposed mole, peppering Ren’s throat with nips and kisses. He pushed Ren’s shirt upwards, no longer content with just the feel of his muscles, he had to see them.

Ren’s breath was starting to speed up, heating the air of the cramped compartment as Hux’s mouth trailed across his chest, steadily moving lower.

There was the choked off sound of a hum when Hux teasingly mouthed the impressive bulge on the front of Rens briefs. The General looked up to see Ren panting, with his face flushed and his pupils blown wide. The sight of this debauched knight made Hux’s trousers that much more uncomfortably tight. 

“Fuck.. Hux, please.” Ren’s voice was a breathy sigh, it made Hux avert his gaze from the intensity of Ren’s stare. 

Hux’s mind was mush, overstimulated with lust and five years worth of repressed want. He could only think of nonsense to say before tugging the hem of Rens briefs down.

“I can’t believe you actually have a fucking 8 pack. Fuck you’re fit.” Hux mumbled before Ren’s massive cock was released from it’s confines.

….

Kriffing hell. 

“You’re huge,” Hux said, stupidly.

“What?” Ren panted, eyes heavy-lidded.

“You’re _ridiculously huge_ ,” Hux said.

“Hux,” Ren said, breathless. “I want--I need--” His long fingers curled into Hux’s hair.

All thought of logistics was banished from Hux’s mind, replaced by the singular need to devour Ren immediately. He opened his mouth.

The compartment suddenly jolted. Hux let out a rather undignified shriek, clutching at Ren’s knees. Then they were swaying, moving.

“Kriff,” Hux said. “Not long enough after all.”

“ _Hux_ ,” Ren pleaded.

“There’s no time,” Hux snapped. “Unless you can make this thing stop.” Suddenly Ren was standing, enormous cock jutting out like a flagpole as he leaned over to look out the side window at the control box below. He raised a hand. “Wait, really?” Hux said, and then there was a terrible scream of machinery and the compartment lurched to a stop.

Hux drew a shaky breath, closing his eyes, willing the back-and-forth swinging to stop. “Ugh,” he muttered, and then something warm and wet was poking him in the cheek. He reached up, wrapping his fingers around the base of Ren’s cock, and opened his eyes.

“I want to fuck you,” Ren said, gazing down at him.

Hux swallowed, eyes shifting over the length in front of him. He ran his tongue up the thick shaft, relishing the little gasp the Ren let out. “Not what I had in mind,” he felt his own cock twitch, “but it does sounds rather…” he lapped across the wet head of Ren’s cock, “…appealing.”

Roughly Ren pulled him to his feet attacking his trouser fastenings with the same intensity Hux had seen him attack Resistance troops. It felt as if he had several extra hands as his clothes were pushed down and Ren pushed him to bend over the worn fake velvet of the seat. Hux felt the briefest flutter of panic.

“There’s no way you are putting it straight in! It’s a nice cock Ren but really- ah!” Hux was silenced as large hands spread his cheeks apart and the soft warm wetness of Ren’s tongue slid across his hole. Hux bit his lip, inhaling deeply through his nose in attempt to suppress what he was certain would be an extremely high pitched whine. Ren’s tongue lapped across his entrance in an almost leisurely manner and it took every ounce of Hux’s self control not to push back and beg Ren for more.

He could feel the stubble on Ren’s cheeks, the bridge of his nose on his tailbone, his sinfully talented tongue starting to thrust gently inwards. His cock was dripping now and he ached to touch it. He wouldn’t though, not until Ren was inside him. He circled his hips as Ren tongued him, blunt fingers joining in the exploration of his body. Hux leaned his palms against the now fogged window, gently thrusting, pushing back, needing more.

Ren was never known for being a man of words. He was stoic and brutish, more often than not letting his actions speak for him. One would not guess a man of such few words would have such a skilled and dexterous tongue; probing, almost reaching his prostate, but it was maddeningly not quite enough.

His fingers helped as Ren slowly worked a second one in with the first. They weren’t so much searching as they were stretching, getting the muscles to relax enough to accommodate Ren’s ridiculous cock. It was quite likely to be the biggest thing Hux had ever been penetrated with.

“ _Hux._ Stop thinking so much, or else I might come before I even get inside you.” Hux could feel the words vibrating against his skin, the sensation sent a tremor up his spine.

“Perhaps, _mhh_ , perhaps you should stop helping yourself to my thoughts! You arse.” Hux only managed to articulate, panting hard and bracing himself against the seat. Ren only chuckled. 

“Can’t help it. You’re so loud, inside and out.” Ren crooked his fingers, deliberately brushing against Hux’s prostate, drawing a shout from Hux. “You sound so good. Fuck.” 

“Stars, Ren, just fuck me already!” Hux was shaking, both from the cold and the exhilaration. He felt Ren nod and shift behind him, turning Hux around so that they were facing each other again. 

Hux was perched with his ass hanging over the edge of the seat, his back against the wall of the carriage, and his knees hanging over Kylo’s shoulders. Ren was on his knees before him, one of his large hands rubbing up and down his side and the other lining up his cock with Hux’s hole. It was strange, for the cold blooded knight that he was, he was an oddly considerate lover. 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this with saliva as lube.” Hux muttered, mostly to himself. Ren retracted a little to shoot Hux a questioning glance.

“We aren’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t have anything, I was going to protect your body with the Force.”

Fucking _force lube_. Hux was not going there. He was not. 

“What was all that then just now. Just eating my arse for the hell of it, were you?”

The only response to Hux’s mocking was a smirk and a bite to his ear lobe. All words died in Hux’s throat when he felt the tip of Ren’s cock against his entrance. 

“Ready?” Ren’s breath was hot against his ear. Hux nodded, and a drawn out moan escaped him as Ren slowly pressed his way in.

Hux felt the stretch, the slight burn, the delicious pressure at the base of his spine as Ren slid forward, fingers tight on Hux’s thighs. He bent forwards to kiss Hux, leaning their foreheads together as he exhaled, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Ren…” Hux’s voice was feather light, his chest clenching.

“Kylo. Call me Kylo.” He slowly started to rock forwards, a long langorous slide that brushed across Hux’s prostate, making him arch his back and keen out, arms wrapping around Ren’s neck.

It was tortuous and delicious, shallow thrusts giving way to harder, faster strokes. Hux could feel his body clenching and twitching with every movement, sparks of pleasure shooting through him as Kylo began to speed his movement. The air was close and warm, filled with hot breath and the rising scent of sweat. Hux couldn’t tear his eyes away from the vision of Kylo above him, muscles shining, hair in glorious disarray. He looked at Hux as if he were the answer to some great mystery.

Hux could feel the pressure building at the base of his cock, a curl of fire that only brightened as Kylo moved. He reached downwards to take himself in hand stroking himself roughly to match Kylo’s increasing pace.

“Oh fuck Hux, you look so good like that!” Kylo’s mouth opened in a pant, never taking his eyes from Hux’s cock. His thighs were trembling, his pace becoming erratic. The metal of the carriage creaked and Hux realised the whole damn thing was rocking. He didn’t care. Kylo was pounding into him, every single thrust shooting lightning up his spine.

“Hux! Please! I need to see you come, I wanna see you come.” His dark eyes were wide, almost pleading and Hux surged forwards, almost bending himself in half to kiss desperately at Kylo’s lips, moaning out his name as he spilled between their bodies.

Kylo’s expression was a mixture of lust and pride as he fucked Hux through his orgasm. His brows creased, eyes closed, mouth falling open in a low moan. Hux could feel Ren’s cock thicken inside him, his hips stuttering, several pulses of warmth coating his insides.

He collapsed forwards onto Hux’s body, panting and sweaty, the last trembles of pleasure causing them both to shiver. Hux stroked a hand through damp hair, “Kylo that was-” he frowned, “-it’s moving! Ren! The thing is moving!”

Ren cursed and fixed his clothing. So did Hux. By the time the ride had them back on ground level, Hux and Ren looked every inch the respectable fairgoers they were. The ride attendant glared at them, fixed the bulb on their carriage, made a face and returned to his little hut to use his comm unit. 

“This way,” Hux said, “I saw from the Ferris wheel.”

Hux led Ren towards a gold-painted whirling ride with model tauntauns and blurrgs and luggabeasts, music whirling around them. “A carousel?” Ren shook his head. “No, I want a thrill. This way.”

Ren grabbed Hux by the hand and hurried him to the other end of the carnival. He pointed up. Hux tried to back away but Ren held him tight. “Come on, Hux! Or can I call you Arm--”

“Just Hux please. And NO WAY.”

Ren cajoled, berated, pleaded and insisted until Hux gave in and joined the line for _Palpatine’s Drop_. Hux looked up again at the sound of screams from the unfortunates actually on the ride, hearing the terror rise as the ride dropped them in a semblance of free fall then caught them just as disaster seemed certain. Hux tried to duck under the barrier out of the line but Ren caught him. “Oh come _on_! Don’t you _like_ feeling as if you cheated death?”

“Kylo, I feel like that every time I have to deal with one of your tantrums.” Hux sighed and got back in line beside Ren. “I don’t need any extra source of life-affirming stress.”

At the front of the line, the attendant Gamorrean held out a meaty hand, blocking Hux and Ren’s path. He had a comm unit in his other hand. As he spoke, the Gamorrean’s tusks moved in a way that both fascinated and disgusted Hux. “You are barred from all rides. Stand aside. NEXT PLEASE!”

“What do you mean we’re barred from all rides?” Kylo demanded, already puffing himself up, presumably to fight.

Hux held out a hand to calm him down, touching his chest to anchor him. “Ren…”

“Out of the way, pink meat. You heard what I said.”

“Let’s go,” Hux hissed, grabbing him by the arm as he opened his mouth to say something else. “I have no wish to deal with you starting a riot at a carnival,” he muttered as the two walked away. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the other tense up, raising an eyebrow. “What’s the matter?”

“...We’re not the ones who started the riot.”

“What..?”

Wordlessly, Ren tipped his head back sharply, pointing his chin toward a growing crowd of carnival-goers. Hux stepped to the side, trying to see through the throng.

“Oh, for the love of Tarkin,” he groaned. There was that-- _Matt_ , that _radar technician_ , at the center of the mess. For some reason he was shirtless, but the real issue was the fact that he had just laid out one carnival worker with a single punch and was now going after another. “Where--” Hux scanned the crowd. “Where--” he said again.

Ren put a hand on his shoulder. “There,” he said, tipping up his chin again, and Hux looked to see his brother standing off to the side with Mitaka, visibly upset but apparently uninjured. Hux glanced back at Ren to see large brown eyes gone soft.

He frowned. “I just wished to ascertain--”

Then Ren was kissing him, plush lips sliding possessively over his own, capturing his words and transforming them to inarticulate moans. “Ren,” he tried to say, but his eyes were already slipping closed. As Ren bent him over backwards, Hux’s hands came up to clutch at his hair--

“Do we have to call security?” barked an angry voice, right at Hux’s ear.

Hux jumped, fighting to disentangle himself from Ren’s arms. He was completely unsuccessful, managing only to twist awkwardly and wind up with one arm around Ren’s neck and the other hanging awkwardly at his side. “Is there something wrong?” he asked the Togruta carnival worker pleasantly, while Ren buried his face in his neck.

The worker blinked, shook his head, gestured vaguely at Ren. “This,” he said, “is inappropriate! There are _younglings_ present.”

“Who in the galaxy still says _younglings_?” Hux scoffed.

Ren abruptly pulled off Hux’s neck, straightening. “So sorry,” he crooned at the Togruta. “You didn’t see anything.” He waved his hand.

“I didn’t see anything,” the Togruta muttered. As he wandered off dazedly, Ren gave Hux the smuggest grin Hux had ever seen on him, which was saying something.

“You’re certainly proud of yourself.”

“I am, I really am.” He cocked his head to the side. “You could be a little prouder of me, though.”

Hux rolled his eyes and huffed. “We should go somewhere away from trouble. Let me get my brother and--”

“No, your brother doesn’t need you,” Ren said quickly. “I saw an animal park. Let’s go see what they’ve got.” After a slight pause, Ren added quietly, “just us.”

Hux gave Ren a narrow glare. “Is this an excuse to get me somewhere quiet?” Ren grinned and nodded. Hux laughed. “Good.”

As it turned out, the animal park was the last thing anyone would call quiet. The main attraction was a troop of Kowakian lizard-monkeys who screeched and cackled, throwing Force-knows-what at any unfortunate person who passed by. Hux smirked and nudged Ren.

“Look, they’re almost as destructive as you are. Do you think you might be related?”

“Says the man whose cat matches his hair.” Ren nudged him back. They jostled playfully until Ren trapped Hux under his arm, squeezing him tight. “You know, I’m glad we did this.”

“Are you referring to the carnival or the ill-advised sex in public?” Hux slipped a hand down the back of Ren’s trousers, squeezing tight, “Maybe we ought to go back to the food stands and refuel, I have a few things I really want to do to you when we get back to the _Finalizer_.”

Ren shifted noticeably, the tips of his ears turning a bright pink. He glanced around to where the Rodian animal trainer was demonstrating the tail lights of an Endor lantern bird and pulled Hux into a shadowed corner of the tent.

“Tell me.” His breath was hot in Hux’s ear, the bulk of his body emanating heat. Hux inhaled, the man still smelled of sex and spices, utterly delicious. He took a step backwards and felt the world fall out from under him as his shoe hit something slimy. He skidded and was caught with a jolt just as suddenly. Ren’s face appeared above him and Hux realised that it wasn’t Ren’s arms that had stopped his fall. Evidently Ren was finding ways to practice with the Force after all, and not just as lube.

Scrambling to right himself Hux realised the sliminess was still attached to his foot, sucking, squelching, biting, burning. _What the hell_? 

An angry voice shouted out across the park, the Rodian, “What do you think you’re doing with my Nimdrovan Slimy Carnivorous Mould?! You do NOT feed the animals!” And suddenly Ren was grabbing him, rushing him away as the boot was pulled from his foot, still caught in whatever orifice passed for the mould’s mouth.

“Shit, Hux, we’re going to get thrown out of everywhere at this point.”

Hux grumbled, “At this point I’m going to blast the entire damned carnival from orbit.”

“At least do it on a full stomach.” Ren marched Hux away from the animal show, back towards the food stalls. “Maybe you’ll be less grumpy if you eat something.”

Hux grumbled a bit more but felt somehow compelled to move in the direction Ren chose. “Hey!” Hux protested, “Are _you_ making me do that? Stop it!”

Ren released his force-hold on Hux and the pair glared at each other. Ren broke the hostile silence. 

“Do you want to blast the carnival from orbit _before_ dinner or _after_?”

Hux rather wanted to blast the carnival right _now_ and be done with everything. What was he even doing? His ass hurt, his left boot was gone and he was being Force-compelled to eat more carnival garbage. (The Alderaanian food from earlier had to be bad for you, right? Nothing that delicious could possibly be healthy.) It had been a mistake to come here. He’d known it would be a mistake from the start. Somehow, he’d let himself be talked into it. And now he was being insulted by aliens and _attacked_ by aliens and his brother’s ill-advised fling was causing some sort of _riot_. And worst of all, Hux had allowed Ren to--had allowed _himself_ to--

He flushed and looked away from Ren’s scowl. He’d wanted that since the day they’d met. It was Ren who’d been reticent, Ren who’d rejected Hux’s every friendly overture until finally Hux had had enough and had channeled his desire into an active dislike. He’d always known it for what it was: an absolute farce. But it was easier to shout at Ren than it was to be cordial and be shot down.

And then something had changed, and it was Ren making the advances and Hux doing the rebuffing. He’d suddenly gotten everything he’d wanted, and he couldn’t accept it. That conscious enmity had become too hard a habit to break.

But all that was over thanks to this ridiculous carnival. Thanks to Mitaka’s request, and Ren’s invitation, and Techie’s insistence. Now it was all laid bare, everything. For fuck’s sake, they’d been acting like lovers for the past hour.

Hux looked back up at Ren, who was now gazing at him with a look of curiosity and concern. “Well,” Hux said. “You’d better pick me up.”

“What?”

Hux smiled at Ren’s perplexed face. “I’m not walking over this disgusting gravel and dirt in my _sock_ , Ren.”

A grin split Ren’s face, dimpling his cheeks. He closed the short distance between them and hooked an arm under Hux’s knees. Hux wrapped his arms around Ren’s neck and nuzzled into his shoulder. “Stop making everything so difficult,” he murmured.

He felt Ren’s throat tighten as he swallowed. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” Hux said. “You can, Kylo.” He grinned against Ren’s neck. “I believe in you.”

Ren huffed and bounced Hux in his arms. “Ass.”

Ren carried Hux to the first food stall and put him down. Hux stared at the delicacies on offer, wrinkled his nose and shook his head. 

“I’d rather have synthsust. Even the _natural_ flavour pouches we feed the lowest rank stormtroopers. At least I know it won’t kill me and only tastes of dust.”

The stallholder glared at Hux with what Hux considered to be far too many eyes. “This is the best quality food available in this system! Imported from my homeworld. Fresh as possible.”

Hux looked again in horror as a pink-suckered tentacle poked out of a large duraplast container and waved around, glistening drops of water forming at its top and flicking off. Hux grimaced and pointed.

“No way. I can see that one is fresh but I am NOT eating it.”

The stallholder reached across the aromatic offerings of slices of some aquatic creature, just on the wrong side of its _best-before_ date, and grabbed Hux by the shirt front. A larger, thicker pink-suckered tentacle gesticulated in Hux’s face while Ren hooted with laughter behind him. The stallholders gelatinous features flushed a deep indigo and seemed to swell in Hux’s field of view.

“ _You are damn right. That is my youngling._ ”

“And very lovely she is too,” Kylo’s arm was around his shoulders now, his face almost split in half by a shit-eating grin, “you’ll have to excuse my… um… partner here, he doesn’t get on-world much.”

“If you know what’s best for you, you’ll take him far away from here.” The stallholder was glaring at Hux with every eye, rage palpable.

“Of course, come along,” said Kylo in a voice far cheerier than Hux thought possible. 

“Don’t you ‘come along’ me Ren! I am not some sort of pet you can just- put me down!!” Hux felt his face burn as he was hoisted over a strong shoulder, kicking ineffectually with one socked foot. Kylo simply patted him on the backside, giving it a firm squeeze. Hux groaned to himself, _of course_ , there was Phasma, yet again, this time holding a holorecorder. He dropped his head, resigning himself to being the laughing stock of the Finalizer.

He was silent as Kylo sat him down at a small table before rushing off to another stall. He returned with a mug of some sweet smelling foamy concoction that warmed Hux’s hands through the chipped ceramic. Hux sniffed at it, giving a tight lipped smile. 

“I have the feeling you’ll like this, it’s rootmallow tea. I know you have a thing about rare teas.”

Hux’s eyebrows creased, he wasn’t aware he’d told the man that. Then again, Kylo seemed to be in Hux’s head almost as much as he was. He took a tentative sip and felt the tension in his body dissipate as warmth spread through him. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, tonight was just so confusing.

“Hux?” He glanced down at the warm palm on his thigh, a gentle pressure, comforting almost.

“Ren… Kylo, I just... “ Hux’s voice trailed off, unsure how to articulate what he was feeling. “Tonight, the kisses, the tea, the sex… over there you called me your partner, what exactly is this?” He placed his hand atop Ren’s much larger one, daring to thread their fingers together. “What _are_ we?”

Ren sighed and shook his head. “I thought you would know. I thought you’d understand.” He squeezed Hux’s thigh once. “I noticed. All those times.”

“What,” Hux’s voice harsher, wary, “...the kriff are you talking about?”

“All those little signs you give off without even realising.” Ren smiled and leaned closer, conspiratorial. “They give you away. I didn’t need the Force to see it.”

Hux frowned and put down his mug in case he dropped it, eyes fixed on Ren’s hopeful face. Ren rolled his eyes at Hux’s blatant refusal to understand what he was thinking. “The way you look at me on the _Finalizer_. The way you react when you speak kindly but I cut you off because I don’t know what to do about you.” Ren leaned so close he was murmuring in Hux’s ear. “Those times in front of Snoke when you are so competitive, vying to show your value, proving you don’t need to use the Force to be worthy of attention. I thought it was for Snoke. It wasn’t, was it?”

Ren moved back a little so that he could see Hux’s burning face properly. Hux stared at Ren, stomach fluttering and limbs trembling with a prehistoric instinct to run. Ren moved the hand on Hux’s thigh to his chest.

“You feel it. I know. I was afraid too but--”

The rest of Ren’s thought seemed irrelevant with Hux’s hands in his hair and Hux’s lips on his.

“So you two finally figured it out then?” Hux reluctantly pulled away to see Phasma grinning at him, some pink fluffy concoction in one hand and an enormous stuffed animal in the other. “Congrats, it took you long enough.” She took a bite of the sugary confection and smirked at Hux’s look of confusion. Behind Phasma he could see Techie sleepily cuddled up to Mitaka while that Matt creature stroked circles on his back. All three looked disgustingly happy.

It seemed that the _Finalizer_ crew were all starting to assemble, Unamo’s face was painted with flowers. Thanisson lolled drunkenly, held up by Rodinon. All around him officers were smiling, relaxed, cheerful, and with a dawning realisation it struck Hux, so was he. He looked to Ren at his side and found eyes filled with warmth and a large hand entwining with his.

“So,” Hux said, “was the carnival up to your expectations?”

Ren’s voice was soft as he squeezed Hux’s hand tight, “Not at all,” he dipped his head down searching for Hux’s lips, ignoring the groans and catcalls of the surrounding officers, “but I wouldn’t change a thing.”


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realizing we had neglected to give Hux any pink balloons, we plotted out a brief epilogue in chat, and jathis wrote it. Enjoy!

Hux waited until the shuttle was a safe distance away, smiling up at the pink balloons Kylo had snuck off to purchase for him before climbing aboard. He hummed, tapping one of them with the end of his finger, watching them bob in the air.

"Sir?"

"Fire."

Techie's eyes widened, turning away from Mitaka and Matt. "What?" he asked. His eyes whirled and clicked in alarm as he looked out the port of the shuttle and he watched as the Finalizer's weapons started to warm up before sending a blast towards the planet they had just been on. "Brother!" he shrieked.

"You couldn't even wait until your brother wasn't around to see?" Kylo softly asked.

Hux shrugged his shoulders, happily watching his balloons, "They annoyed me," he said.

"Brother! There were families down there!" Techie shrieked, pushing himself out of his seat, shaking as bloody tears fell from his damaged tear duct. He clenched his hands into trembling fists, struggling to control himself.

"I had hoped that we could 'forget' Matt down there," Hux confessed with a lazy shrug.


End file.
